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Pilgrim Artists Festival 2019: Grief + Hope

Pilgrim Artists Festival 2019: Grief + Hope

From a very young age, I used to make my
own toys. I used to make little cars for my characters. I was always making things
and mum will often tell me that I used to love just getting out boxes or tape
or whatever was to make costumes or cars or all manner of things for myself. And
this turned into sculpture making and always trying to make something that
looked interesting or captured a little story or something that was beautiful.
It was always a desire in my making. And of course, as I got older and
encountered life and life’s challenges my art began to be more about that, more
about things that I experienced and ideas I’d come across, sermons I’d hear.
These things… these thoughts would come to me and I would be wanting to express
them in some sort of physical, visual way both as a way of processing the ideas that I was…
or the experiences that I was having but also as a way of trying to
visually represent those things for other people so that they might also understand
or find something interesting about those ideas. So recently my son passed away and it
was after a long battle with cancer and that journey had many ups and downs
and a huge part of my getting through that grief was through art making. It was almost like this deeply-held,
almost irresistible desire, to make art as a way of helping to work through that
grief and even now I’ve got three or four pieces on the go in my mind that
are further processing what has happened and trying to make sense of it but I
think also trying to capture beauty and the beauty that we see, I guess we get a
glimpse of, the beauty of heaven and trying to sort of get it to bring a
little bit of that closer to here and in by so doing so I’m bringing a little bit
of the world that Ned is now in to myself. So I’m trying to in some
ways connect back to my son but also try to capture some of the beauty of heaven
and the beauty of God for others too. But there’s also that sense for myself too.
This is a… it’s a need. A deeply held need. I need to work
through this grief and the way that I can do that is through my art making.

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