Articles Blog

The Clerk’s Fantastic Feast – Film One (Before your visit)

The Clerk’s Fantastic Feast – Film One (Before your visit)


Oi you! You’re here at last. I was told you’d be arriving yesterday. Where have you been? Don’t answer that. We haven’t got the time. I’m the Kitchen Clerk. Matthew Moore. But that’s Master Moore to you. What are you standing there for?
Come on. Ok now, listen. I run the show down here in the kitchens. So what I say goes. And the King’s Privy Kitchen is being done up today. So we’re in there. I know. Come on. [Bucket clatters] Oh!
[Grumbling] That’s not normally there. Follow me. Watch your step. Morning everyone! Smell those pies. Mmm delicious! Whoever burnt that is fired. Good, good, good. This is all looking tip top. Now, as you know King Henry’s
away on royal business at the moment. The Tower of London doesn’t fill itself,
if you know what I mean. And our lovely new Queen Katherine Parr wants to throw a surprise feast for him on his return, for all the court. Now you can’t expect a Queen of England to come down here and work in the kitchen. So as usual it’s left to old muggins here to sort it out. But there’s still much for you to do. Sorry there’s still much for us to do. [Fish squelching as they hit the floor] That’s coming out of your wages… … Dad. Parents eh? Come on. Leeks, garlic and this boy here. Good. Well done. Now. Don’t forget the feast has to be perfect. Queen Catherine really wants to impress King Henry, because we know if he’s displeased in any way, then it means [chopping sound] for her. Hmm. And I really don’t want to have to sort out another wedding banquet. Ooh. The horror. So let’s all work together as a team. Let’s crack this. Good. Excellent. Well with that in mind I’m off for a lie down. Ah, what I meant to say is: I’m off to do some urgent paperwork. In my office. On my own. In the dark. On my back. Good luck! Oh it’s always jammed. Roderick, every time. Can we not get someone to look at this? Every time. Oh just need a little bit of a jimmy. Yeah get back to work.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *